Should I give up Personhood?

Give up Personhood?

I’ve recently been thinking of giving up on personhood.  A little background:  The first to go was sexuality.  I didn’t really realise it so much at the time, but it became obvious after a while that those sexual categories were never going to cut it in a descriptive sense and it didn’t make much sense to make more.  Penguins can’t be gay and ducks can’t rape!  Why use these mad categories for humans?

Our sexual categories are self deception on a grand scale.  To define yourself in terms of them is an act of self harm.  There’s a lot of people self harming out there!

Anyway, I reject sexual categories and call them myths.  


Gender.  Good old gender eh?  We’re saddled with it from birth unlike sexual categories which we can pick up on later.  Invariably it fails so what do people do?  Do they reject if?  No, they just invent more and more… and more.  FB has a list to choose from and pronouns are seperate.  Mix it up!  Your gender might be she, but your pronoun can be he.  (I can tell I’m going to use a lot of explanation marks in this blog)

So I specifically thought about it and thought I’ve just got to get rid of it, I’ve got to get rid of my gender and so I did.  I’m glad to have it gone.  No one cares so long as you don’t do anything different in terms of your actions and appearance.  Oh, I also keep the same pronoun.  That helps.

It not being any different just goes to show how useless the whole thing is.  It’s not like denying the holocaust.  But surely it should be so much more important to people because EVERYONE has got to have a gender and the gender they have is via them thinking some thoughts in their head.  Whatever thoughts they think is the reality, out in the world, of this central tennant of social reality.

So if someone was to deny their gender that should destroy how people relate to them so how can it all be the same apart from people saying “that’s a little bit weird” etc.  Where is the oppression?


Finally it had to come down to this.  It sort of slid into view.  People can call you a ‘person’ after you’ve given up your gender.  They shouldn’t be able to do that.  I’m not a person!  Take your culturally laden accusations of personhood and get out of here.

I’m non-aborted human life.  I’m fertilised egg that got a bit too big for it’s host.  I’m living it up in the environment by being some dumb voyeur.  I’m some entity banging away on a keyboard to make you understand that banging away on a keyboard is NOTHING.

How can I be a person?  A person has rights.  I have no rights.  But attack me and I will attack back.  The attack may not be physical.

A person is a cultural being.  I see culture.  I pretend culture, but at least I know that I’m pretending.  You don’t.  You don’t know how to.

I can make statements like this out of pure frustration.  We’re not in reality here folks, the very least we can do is recognise it.  Get to grips with it.  Live with it.

But personhood?  Come on.  We’re not going to go and believe in that after rejecting everything else are we?

Still, it does seem a little risky to go and say “I’m not a person” it does open up the entity to some kind of nasty attack so that the cultural upholder can say “Ha, you’re a person after all”.  After all got to be a dick in the world to keep the creatures you believe are people to keep on being persons.  That’s persons being dicks BTW.

At this stage there’s no real benefit to socially giving up personhood.  I mean it’s nonsense but it’s not being updated with more nonsense that would require me rejecting it.  No one is saying they’re a “gersion” [That’s a made up word BTW].  I’ve got to talk using this damn language and talking about myself without using personhood would be very inconvenient.

Maybe I won’t give up personhood quite yet but it’s definitely on probation.

Hmm, someone has already falsely equated giving up person with physical suicide.  I much prefer my suicides to be non-physical thanks very much.

Give me convenience or give me death.

Phillip Schofield isn’t gay

What a terrible thing to say!  Everyone must now believe that Phillip Schofield is gay (which is a big deal apparently) Before he wasn’t gay and everyone must believe that he wasn’t gay but now he’s said he’s gay we must believe that.  I don’t believe it because I don’t believe that anyone’s gay because I don’t believe there is such a thing as ‘gay’.  No one cares what I think but I’m going to tell you why I think that regardless.

Phillip Schofield isn’t gay because no one is because there is no thing that ‘gay’ is.  I would love it if there was a thing that it was because then we could divide the world up into people that are gay and people that aren’t, but we can’t because the concept makes no sense.  It makes no sense because it is unfalsifiable.  There is literally no way for me to prove that Phillip Schofield is or isn’t gay because there’s no facts of the matter.  It is literally believed to be the case that whatever Phillip Schofield’s honest opinion of the matter is is what the case is.  So if Phillip Schofield thinks he is gay then he is gay, and anyone who thinks they are gay, is gay.  I am confident that no-one would ever think to challenge this religious principle.  It would be like telling a Christian that they hadn’t accepted Jesus or something.

Being gay is just a modern religious principle.  There are no underlying facts there.  It’s the modern version of religion!

It’s so mind bogglingly obvious to me that the whole thing is fake.  Being gay is supposed to have something to do with same sex sexual attraction but when you break it down it’s really just a cultural statement.  It’s saying “I want to be seen as a certain kind of exalted person”.  The exalted person is willing to sacrifice their opposite sex sexual relations onto the altar of gayness because it makes you a monk or priest of the moral society.

What if everyone became conscious of their same sex sexual attractions?  Would that make everyone gay then?  No, because then it wouldn’t mean anything.  Then it would specifically have to mean people who behaved in a certain faggy kind of way.  But Phillip Schofield already behaved in that way before he announced he was gay, so I suppose no secret could be kept on that basis.  Why don’t we just say that anyone who has some effeminate behaviour or non macho behaviour is gay?  After all they are producing those traits.  And why don’t we say of those remaining macho guys that if they react to the effeminate on a sympathetic basis that they are gay too and if they don’t – if they’re threatened by it well they must also be gay.  

What about anyone who comes into contact with a gay person must themselves be gay? 

Once upon a time (briefly) I thought that ‘gay’ people must really have it going on.  That they must have some kind of enlightenment that others lacked.  What a dream.  It turns out that in general, not only are they just as dumb as other people but they are immeshed in cultural niceties and rubbish even more.  Many don’t have a clue they just experience some same sex sexual attraction one day and think “op I must be gay.  That’s bad news, but at least I get to be exalted by society”.

‘Gay’ people may have not been able to self delude when it comes to sexual attraction and so that’s a positive, but they just buy into a pile of self delusions in other ways.  They can’t choose their sexual attractions.  They can’t behave how they want to behave.  They are slaves to certain passions and they have erected their identities on the basis of sexuality as opposed to some other cultural rubbish.

Maybe I should announce that I am gay.  That way if I have sexual relations with women then that’s seen as some kind of weird deception that that the moral society doesn’t like.  At least I could punish it slightly in that way.  If I was to say like I have with gender “I’m gay – everything else is the same” that would confuse people.  Well it has no meaning so it doesn’t matter whether you say you’re gay or not except in people’s perceptions of you.  I suppose it would be better to say one has no sexual identity.  No sexual identity.  No gender.  What a free way to live!  Then I could just be a homo-sapien out in the world.

What to do if you meet someone who is aware?

There are aware people out there, so what to do if you meet one of them?

It is an understatement to say that in general people aren’t aware.  That is, aware of the psycho-sexual environment.  It might be that only one in a thousand people are aware.  It might be less but even if it is a very small percentage of people there should be a large number of aware people out there.  For instance: If it is one in a thousand, then there should still be a thousand people per million so for instance in a city like Auckland there should still be more than a thousand aware people.  Even if it is one in ten thousand then there should be a hundred or so.  The much bigger problem is that these people have no words for their experience and importantly no shared language to describe it or even label their state.

This means that even if there are aware people around, they would have no way to talk about it with other people.

I’m not talking about “self aware”!  If you look up “people that are aware” on Google then it comes up with all material about self awareness.  Self awareness is all very well but interpersonal awareness is much more important in my book.

The thing is that if you’re aware then you eventually kind of ‘forget’ that you’re aware.  It just becomes part of life.  But if you meet someone that is aware you’re suddenly made ‘aware’ of it again.

The question for me becomes – when this rare event occurs, what to do about it?

First up, how can you meet an aware person?  It can happen any time at any place.  It can be anybody, although in my experience it is more likely to be women perhaps because they are often more socially aware to begin with.

What is the experience of meeting an aware person?  It’s a very difficult thing to describe.  It’s noticing someone and them noticing you.  An analogy would be like meeting someone with an extra sense.  The idea of the land of the blind might be too blatant.  If everyone was blind and a few people were sighted then if a sighted person saw another sighted person then that would be pretty obvious and a big deal.  It would be obvious to everyone if someone was sighted and they were blind.  They would get around the world so much better!

If everyone was deaf and there where two people with normal hearing that met and no one knew anything about ‘hearing’ then it wouldn’t be obvious at all.  Two people with hearing might spend quite a lot of time together (talking is sign language of course) before they noticed that the other person could hear.

Maybe there would be a loud noise which would startle the hearing people but no one else would notice and then then might notice from their mutual reaction that there was something different about each other.

Being aware falls somewhere between these two extremes.

It’s instantly noticeable when someone is aware when you’re aware, but it’s not noticeable to other people – obviously, because they are not aware!

The biggest issue that I’ve had when rarely meeting an aware person is what to do about that at the time?  Do you pretend that it isn’t happening?  Do you act the same way you normally would?  Do you try and say something?  If so what?

You can’t exactly say “Hey I just noticed that you’re aware.  Pleased to meet you.  Do you want to talk about it?”  

Note [I have a linguistic convention to say “you” instead of “one” in this instance] 

I mean you could say that but no one would know what the hell you were talking about – even the person themselves probably wouldn’t know and they almost certainly wouldn’t use the word “aware” to describe the experience, if they even had any words at all.

A more accurate way to say it might be: “You know how you noticed something about me which seemed different to the regular person?  Well I had that same experience.

Well actually they probably know all that.  They know everything but they don’t have any words for it, that’s the weird thing about it.  It’s kind of like saying to someone at a funeral. “I feel sad”. Really? You don’t say!

All that is happening is that each person is noticing that the other person is noticing or at very least that something is different.  

More accurately, each is noticing behaviours that are regularly unnoticed.

Who knows what the internal experience of those people is?

I suppose there are two levels of awareness of this sort.  One level would be the sort of semi-aware person.  They’re noticing the behaviours but they’re not able to articulate that the other person is also noticing them.  This usually causes an amount of confusion in them internally.  It’s kind of an odd situation.  I kind of want to say “It’s ok, I’m here”.  I’m just like you.  That’s what’s so weird about me!

I read a story about a girl who go raised by monkeys.  She considered herself a monkey.  If she saw another human among monkeys she might think there was something mighty strange about the ‘monkey’ but she wouldn’t necessarily equate it with herself.

That’s like the semi-aware person.  The fully aware person (in this analogy) will see another human rather than a monkey.

When it’s fully aware meets fully aware it’s a bit of a freak show.  When you’re an aware person alone in the mythspace it’s like: Ok I have to deal with the mythspace and just pretend to ignore the environment.  When there’s another living breathing person in the environment and you’re still dealing with on the basis of the mythspace, then that’s a higher level of insanity.

In a way though it does remind me of why I don’t want everyone to be aware.  I don’t want everyone knowing everything and judging me.  I want to keep the advantages that having access to the environment gives me.  I’m happy to keep the mythspace I just want to connect with a few aware people on an intellectual level for mutual support and appreciation.

Please get in touch if you believe yourself to be aware!

What I won’t talk about

That which cannot be spoken of must be passed over in silence – Wittgenstein.

I’ve done a series of myths whereby I say such and such is a myth.  Now if anyone ever cared they might say such and such sexual categorisation or social practice or understanding – is that a myth?  Yes it is, but there are some specific things that I cannot go through in that way.

There is actually a lot in the environment that I don’t talk about because it’s too upsetting and disturbing to talk about in a general sense, but there is a specific subset of these things that I can’t talk about because they are taboo subjects and the like.  With some of these things people might believe that I have a favourable view of these things or participate in them.  I do not.  I don’t even do stuff which is effectively socially acceptable, but I’m so conservative that I don’t even do it.

Not being allowed to talk about something is an interesting thing because people generally think we can talk about anything.

The kinds of things I talking about not being able to talk about here are things which can’t be tested out by science because people believe they already know the answer.  For example I couldn’t kill someone if I was convinced that I could bring them back to life.  I couldn’t test my theory out.  Well I could do it, but that wouldn’t be allowed by society.  There are quite a few social and sexual things in this category.  Things for which there can be no empirical research.

Mostly this involves issues of consent.  I don’t believe in consent as a religious concept as it is believed by society, but I have not violated supposed consent regardless.  Nor have I taken a different view as to the kinds of entities and persons covered by the religious concept of consent.

But I just wanted to put this disclaimer that I haven’t violated any social norms in this way.

I have seen things which I imagine I haven’t interpreted in the correct way as far as society is concerned, but I’m pretty sure at this point that it is permitted for a person to have any kinds of thoughts that they might happen to have.

I hope this has been illuminating.

The Bisexual Myth

Ahhh, the bisexual myth.  I mean it’s all myth so why go through each individual myth to do with sexuality or whatever?  It’s because some myths are so incredibly destructive.  The sexual myths are as destructive now as they have ever been.  They keep on trying ‘myth purification’ to make it better and they really make it worse – or just as bad.  It’s important that I put the information out there even though no one will read it so that way in the future I can say: “Well the information was out there.  What did you want me to do – pay to promote it?”

So I’ve had “the gay myth” and “the heterosexual myth” and it’s important that I have the bisexual myth just so I can close off that option to people.  

Simply put if you tell people that you don’t believe in heterosexuality and you don’t believe in homosexuality in terms of the social construction of those things then they’ll be like: “Oh, so you must believe everyone is bisexual”.

I don’t believe that, which brings me to the bisexual myth and this is that “everyone is bisexual” which is something that can be believed if you don’t want to go along with ‘bi polar’ worldview of gay and straight.

Let’s take a look at some of the statistics on this.  I googled “Everyone is hetrosexual” (in quotes to get that exact phrase) and it came up with a measly 453 results.  Most of those results were something like: 

“Of course, not everyone is hetrosexual” in other words just saying the opposite of the stance supposedly heavily promoted by the church that everyone is hetrosexual.  Maybe people don’t even want to say that because it sounds absurd.

Everyone is hetrosexual

On the other hand it doesn’t sound equally absurd to say “Everyone is Gay” Kurt Cobain even said it!  That gets a whopping 1,710,000 results!  There’s even a video for it.

Everyone is gay

‘Somewhere in the middle’ is the phrase “Everyone is bisexual” which gets 168,000 results.

everyone is bisexual

Ok, so let’s get down to it.  In the psycho-sexual environment people respond to either biological sex on a sexual basis.  That is, they use a sexual subsystem to interact with people and they are not really bothered as to what the underlying biological sex of the person is.  In my early days exploring the psychosexual environment this fact was extremely shocking to me, because I thought “If they are hetrosexual then how can they be responding to people of the same sex on a sexual basis?”.  More importantly “Why am I?”  At that time I thought people had different sexual preferences or ‘whatever’, but that these were more or less set and consciously understood.  It turns out that is not the case and it’s a very big deal.  So, “What the fuck is going on?” was my question at the time and I had various different ideas about tweaking things with “sub-homosexuals” that I tried intellectually.  But all that kind of thing is ultimately destructive and mistaking people’s behaviour for what people actually are.


What is going on is that people are responding to people of either sex on a sexual basis but this doesn’t mean that everyone is ‘bisexual’ as such, not just because it isn’t a conscious thing, but more importantly because bisexuality suggests a combination of the existing concepts of hetro and homosexuality to just create a broader concept, containing the same kind of flawed reasoning.  One specific thing is that someone might be ‘afraid’ of bisexuals or threatened by them because they may think that ‘everything is up for grabs’ with bisexuals in the sense that people who are hetrosexual can have same same gender friends (or opposite gender friends in the case of homosexuals) that they specifically hang around with but have no sexual interest in, whereas with bisexuals they might be sexually interested in anyone.  e.g:

Myths About Bisexuality Make People Think My Same-Sex Friendships Are Relationships & They’re Not

What’s actually the case is that you’re either relating through the sexual subsystem or you’re not, and you probably are if you’re a normal adult, because the alternative is even worse. (Not going to go there right now).

Relating to people through the sexual subsystem doesn’t make people bisexual though because of how sexual attraction is consciously supposed to work via fetishisation of body parts.

Let’s say you take a male’s brain and put it into a female’s body (head).  Many people would say philosophically that the resultant person is a male (in a females body) yet if a ‘normal’ ‘hetrosexual’ was presented with the resultant person and they experienced sexual attraction to that person that wouldn’t make them gay because actually heterosexuality just is fetishisation of the body in that way.  Homosexuality is therefore conceived of as what would in fact be fetishisation of another kind of body type and bisexuality as both kinds of bodies whereas infact.  In general ‘heterosexuals’ and ‘transexuals’ are much more into fetishisation whereas ‘homosexuals’ and ‘bisexuals’ are much more behaviour attraction based.

Goddamn it, do I have to explain every damn thing?  Yes I do, it’s called a paradigm shift folks.  If you don’t like it you have the power to not believe it.


I know about this stuff.  You can make more and concepts if you like but I would prefer to make less and less.  Anyway it doesn’t deal with the environment.

Mythspace collapse: What it it?

“Had no idea what kind of shit was about to go down”

I may or may not have talked about mythspace collapse in the past, but the important thing about it is that it is the reason that I donot give out techniques for accessing the psycho-sexual environment.  I am much freer with regard to intellectual reasonings and justifications simply because that doesn’t affect people very much.  It’s all just some interesting abstract fact that they don’t have to deal with and can easily put aside.  But if they have to SEE IT then big difference.  [See Nietzsche and the death of God]

A total mythspace collapse is that theoretical state where all, or a good portion of the population stops believing in the general overarching myths that keep society functioning and essentially revert to being animals in the associative and interpersonal sense.  You could say that if postmodernism is scepticism about meta-narratives then mythspace collapse is scepticism about narrative in general and about the ability to generate any narrative.

There are many examples in history of myths being falsified or no longer believed, but it is typically substitution of one myth for another as opposed to not believing myth in general.  Because we exist in the mythspace it’s quite hard to imagine what mythspace collapse would even be like.  It wouldn’t be something that could be specifically described in language because spoken language is mythical in nature too.  I suppose what we might expect to see would be this hybrid state where people could see the environment directly and thus they would attempt to cope with the horror by frantically updating their myth in order to cover what they were seeing and experiencing.  This is what I would typically expect to happen initially, but if they reached the point where they just rejected myth altogether then I don’t know what would happen at that point.

The kind of situation I would expect to trigger a mythspace collapse (or at least major adjustment in the mythspace) would be if someone realised psychological techniques for entering the environment and then taught these techniques to others who did the same in turn, creating a kind of memetic contagion effect throughout society.  It would be like some kind of typical fad or craze but with much more far reaching consequences.  It’s also possible I could be ‘overdramatising’ the situation.  Maybe it could never get to that contagious point.  Maybe there’s only a certain portion of the population that could be affected or interested to know, but it’s that uncertainty that certainly holds me back from other than ‘letters to no-one’ about it.  Essentially I don’t want societal collapse on my shoulders.  It’s a shame because the current myths are so harmful to so many people, but a societal collapse would undoubtedly be even more harmful, even though it would be the more honest state to be in.

What might you expect to see in a mythspace collapse?  If you have ever entered the environment (which I don’t know anyone else ever consciously has – although I’ve got to be optimistic and think that someone might have at some time) then the environment is a pretty lonely place because no-one else is conscious in there, or best case scenario they’ve got some dumb mythically affected consciousness.  

In a state of contagious awareness everyone would be in there and that would be a truely interesting and scary state of affairs because who knows what they might decide to do when no longer constrained by myth?  It would be like putting LSD in the water supply but everyone is stone cold sober and it ain’t wearing off.

Oh BTW, someone read this blog and bought my book – and liked it.  So that was very nice.  I’m glad I randomly made a small difference in the world and random as fuck it is too.  Thank you for your random fandom Matei Grecescu you’re a true intellectual explorer and maybe one day a psychological one.  I will write more about this later.

To deflect you:

Alone in the social environment

Ok I’ll make it very simple: Is there anyone who has gone from a semi autistic state (like one of those guys that you might see that doesn’t look you in the eye and is generally fairly socially incompetent especially in sexual matters but not a full blown autistic) – so gone from that state to higher than average level of being able to read and understand people and the overall social environment? I’m not quite sure if this would be exactly an empathic awakening as it’s not so much about feeling the emotions of other people but rather knowing them and allowing better communication.

So how about a narrative? Everyone seems to love ‘em and have I got one for you.

So I had a fairly normal childhood except my family moved around a bit to various countries which meant that it was difficult for me to establish long term friendships, so by the time we finally did stop moving I was pretty much on the outer socially but that is no big deal. At the time I went to university I felt I was pretty much like my peers. Of course university began a shakedown of my peer group and I became more socially isolated at that time. Now in terms of relationships I had a number of friends but never had any girlfriend. The reason for this is that although I was of above average looks and intelligence I lacked social confidence and competence with the opposite sex. In short I was seen as a ‘weird guy’. This lack of sexual relationships pushed me into some darker places intellectually as I sought to explain my lack of success in this area. I even started writing manifestos and the like. In short I was an incel long before I or anyone had ever heard the term.

Now to be clear, I can very easily prove this. I have the writings that I did at that time and although (of course) I didn’t have the terminology that people now use, they were clearly incel writings.

Anyway, this went on for a number of years during which I had a chronic illness that added to my woes. I tried various things to cure my illness but I could only manage to at best control it. As for girls I had pretty much given up.

So by my early 20s I was getting desperate, while in Las Vegas I decided to accept an invitation from a prostitute just so I could finally have sex. After that for a number of years I was in the situation that I had had sex but I had never been kissed by a girl.

Then in my mid 20s I ended up going to London and an event occurred which absolutely transformed my perception of the world. I was living with small time drug dealers and I took some drugs which they gave me which I was told was ecstasy and went out to a club. After a while I thought that the drugs hadn’t worked and I may as well just go home. Well it hit me on the bus on the way home and it was the best feeling I had ever felt. It was like my whole body was having an orgasm, ongoing for a long time. Furthermore, it was like I suddenly knew everything. I could understand how everything worked. It was like the most incredible thing I have ever experienced. I had some more drugs the following weekend and I felt like I could see and understand the social environment. Although this feeling wore off when the drugs wore off.

Then unfortunately I had to leave the UK. I had a stopover in China where I stayed for a while. It was there that I made my big breakthrough. I had been continuing my writings of incel-like explanations of the social world when I decided to test out a particular hypothesis. I’m not going to tell you what that hypothesis was for reasons I will get on to later.
But holy shit – what an eye opener. Instant results. Suddenly I could get the insight into the social environment that I had when on the drugs – but without the drugs!

What followed was the most amazing period of my life of intense concentrated learning, of which I was documenting in incel style and reforming my view of the social world.

Then I had some shocks. The shocks were twofold: One was was a particular kind of social contact which I felt was both extreme in its implications and more importantly outside my control. Secondly I was shocked to discover that the social environment contained truths which meant that people were violating both my own values and theirs.

These shocks brought my major period of learning to an end. It had only lasted about a month or so. I found myself back in a similar place to where I had started but for different reasons. Before I had seemed shy and nervous because I couldn’t see the social environment and didn’t understand it. Now I seemed a similar way but because I saw the environment all too well and did not want to see the horrors that lurked there, nor to evoke those horrors. I call this breakdown “the horror” because I didn’t want to see the truth of the social environment. It would take me many years to become able to fully deal with the things I had seen.

With regards to relationships with opposite sex I was certainly in a much more beneficial state of being able to do things that I previously had not been able to do, as I felt a great deal of confidence about the social environment compared the blindness I had once had. This enabled me to finally have a girlfriend who I ended up going overseas with. While overseas it was a relief because I was in an Asian culture and did not feel the same expectations on my behaviour as at home. Whilst there I began to coalesce my writings into a book which I called “What it is – A Journey To The End of Philosophy”. (Currently behind a big fat paywall on Amazon) I didn’t know what to do with this book but I felt it was important to record my discoveries. One big problem however was that I didn’t feel that I could promote this information for a couple of different reasons. One was that I didn’t want to be identified as the author of the book because I felt it might interrupt my personal life and secondly, I felt that since I had gone through this traumatic time with discovering the truth of the social environment, what if everyone was to go through that trauma at once? What kind of social effect would that have? It might be a revolutionary prospect. You wouldn’t know what would happen. For instance you might not like Islam but if you were living in Saudi Arabia and everyone stopped believing in it at once it might be quite a scary prospect as to what would happen next. In the case of western society I came to believe that it’s all one big lie that forms a meta-myth around which our lives are structured and if that myth was broken by the intrusion of social reality then what happened next could be a terrifying and chaotic collapse in to anarchy in a bad way. So that’s the main reason I keep my mouth shut as to what’s going on.

Once me and my partner started to have kids it became easier since I had plenty of other issues to deal with but then along came Elliot Rodger. Now at that time I knew about the PUA movement and I thought what a bunch of clowns – all they need to be able to do is see, not all this other bullshit they were promoting. But I didn’t know about the incel movement per se and I thought “These are some guys that could use my help”. I once thought like Elliot Rodger and I can understand these guys. So I decided to try and ‘join’ the community in a low key sort of way to see what I could do to help. But it didn’t really work because I saw that there was no way to reach these guys. They said they wanted help and that they would try anything to get a girl but they wouldn’t try even very basic things. They just wanted to luxuriate in their own helplessness like sort of adult babies. Literally people with the sexual understanding of a child with the intellectual capacities of an adult and incredible hornyness. Now in many ways they had a point. In the past such persons would have been scraped up by some desperate woman and set to work in exchange for sex and even love. But its hardly their fault that society has changed. It was actually men that set woman to work in the world wars as a full mobilisation of society. Once this was combined with the pill it was all over for your typical nice loser male. So all of their theories were right – in a way. I had the same sort of theories myself. Society doesn’t accept incel theory, not because its wrong but because its politically incorrect
Now I have no clue what kind of society I believe would develop if everyone could see the social environment. Perhaps it would be more like Ancient Greek society in which case it might not be too bad. But I digress.

I again got distracted by life and now its more than a decade since I first discovered the psycho-sexual environment and the world has no more knowledge of it now than it did then. One good thing about that is that I have learnt that if I speak in general terms about it then people don’t care. It doesn’t mean anything to them. So that’s lucky!

On the other hand this situation is a lonely one. I know about this thing that others don’t. I can ‘see’ them but they can’t ‘see’ me. So I’ve got to ask myself: Surely there’s someone else out there like me? The internet is a big place. I would expect to be able to find other people if there were people like that out there but I have

LSD or acid telepathy seems to fit, as does The Oliver Sacks story “The President’s Speech” but in general there is very little.

So on the internet you’ve got various communities. There’s autistics – people who don’t get the social environment at all and then there’s incels being people who don’t get the sexual environment and/or are going at it from the wrong sexual stance. Then there’s a whole lot of normies of various stripes who see the social and sexual environment to some functional degree or another. Beyond them on the spectrum there are empaths and highly sensitives who have a much greater feeling for others emotions. All I’m looking for is someone on another part of the spectrum – the highly aware. There MUST be people out there like that. So why can’t I find them?

I don’t want everybody to be able to see me, but it would be nice if there were a few people around that I could connect with in that way. I’ve been thinking that if I can’t find anyone then I should just enable some people, but it’s so risky. Not just to their own mental state but also to the upholding culture as a whole. “Mythspace collapse” is what I call it and I consider it to be a dangerous prospect with the potential of unrestrained revolution.

So there’s my dilemma. Wanting to say enough that I can describe myself to anyone like me but not so much that I give the whole game away and risk collapse of the mythspace in which we all so ‘happily’ live. Well it keeps most people going pretty well. The mythspace has big downsides for sure but if we didn’t have those myths things could really go to crap in my opinion. I just want to help some of the people that have really lost out to those myths and connect with a few likeminded people who can see the environment. Surely that can’t be so hard. If there’s anyone out there who can help please do.

Before I go I’ll just put my standard disclaimer: If you do know the contents of the psycho-sexual environment please do not mention the specifics in the comments. Feel free to DM by all means though. In fact I encourage it!

The (belief in) Christianity Myth

Part of the Christianity Myth

Chritianity is a huge and persistent myth, yet it is also a myth that is in decline and perhaps on the verge of collapse. The biggest problem that Christianity faces is that even its adherents don’t actually believe it. They believe in something but what that is would not typically be recognisable to the original followers of Christ. If you take one of the disciples at the time of the ministry of Jesus and transport them to a modern Christian Church I can’t think of a single thing in the form of worship that would alert them to the fact that it was anything to do with them. So you could be reading from the book of Mark for instance and Mark wouldn’t see any connection. Of course if he knew the language he would soon see the connection, but the form of worship would be completely foreign to him.
Contrast this with Islam and Buddhism where the current form of worship would presumably be somewhat recognisable to its original adherents.
The changing of the forms of worship originally had the effect of opening up the religion to a vast group of new adherents, but it now faces the problem that the original texts as written are hopelessly inappropriate for the lives of those adherents.

One of the effects of this disconnect is that Christians don’t actually believe in Christianity, much less Jesus. What they typically do believe in is certain moral lessons drawn from the teachings of Jesus, but without an intimate connection to Jesus’s way of life itself. The modern Christian wouldn’t like to become a disciple of the original Jesus and those disciples wouldn’t find the modern Christian acceptable adherents of the faith.

Imagine for instance if the typical modern Christian in the United States was given the opportunity to take a one way trip into the past to the time of Jesus’s ministry. It should be the case that every person who says they are Christian leaps at the chance of such a thing. After all, being around Jesus ‘the actual son of God’ is what it’s all about. What could be better than that?
It is also possible that if the offer was made, a good proportion of so called “Christians” might think that they had to accept the offer, but once transported to ancient Judea would find that they didn’t like the situation there very much.
Can you imagine your typical pastor or priest walking around ancient Judea after Jesus?  Where would they get food and medicine?  Oh, well that wouldn’t be a problem right – Jesus would feed them and heal them!  More likely the local people would stone these weird barbarians to death.
They wouldn’t know the language Aramaic, the language Jesus likely spoke day to day nor would they know Koine Greek, the language the New testament was written in. So they couldn’t communicate with Jesus or his disciples. Roman Latin would be much more familiar to the average person, but that was the language of Jesus’s enemies at the time.

Even if they could learn the language of Jesus (which of course only the tiniest portion of president day ‘Christians’ bother to do) life would be very difficult for any modern person around Jesus. It would be much more attractive to the modern person to live in the more ordered Roman world, and that would be invariably where they would migrate whether they liked it of not.

Jesus is nice in theory but if you had to meet him and deal with him it would be exceedingly difficult for people not acquainted with the ancient Judean culture and norms.

It’s a bit like a teenage fan from a affluent background catching up their rock idols. It’s something they might find they want to idolise from a distance.

“Never meet your idols” is a phrase that would be suitable for Christians in relation to Jesus.

I should add as a disclaimer that I would very much hope that Christians don’t bother trying to purify their myth of its glaring inconsistencies as stated. Doing so would create something much worse than even the Amish. But I don’t have to worry about that too much since – they won’t!

Ok I found something…

I decided the other day since the weather was bad to do an intensive search on the internet for something along the lines of my experiences years ago when I took drugs that I was told was “E” and then subsequently reached a different level of social awareness.

On the Psychonaut forum on Reddit I actually found something relevant. Someone had written a post a few years ago titled “Uncontrollable LSD Telepathy destroying my relationships” In which he recounted an LSD/MDMA drug experience and the aftermath. Importantly he listed a number of different things that I had experienced in the way that I would expect people to recount them:

“I’ve also experienced a great deal of panic from “telepathing” to unwanted listeners (like police, government officials, middle east leaders, etc.)”

“In particular, my sexuality seems to have completely exploded, and in many ways that cause me a great deal of pain”

“What’s killing me here is that I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to turn the switch off and exit this realm of deep, non-verbal communication.”

This is what I would call the “horror” stage which then eventually settles down to a more nuanced understanding.

I have tried to contact the person who wrote the post, but it was a few years ago. They may no longer be active and they haven’t got back to me at time of writing.

I do want to mentioned though that there is a massive amount out there about LSD telepathy that is effectively a whole other thing altogether. I would not scientifically believe in regular telepathy, although I have to admit that is is plausible since I have seen this stuff. I have to agree with this quote:

“Understandably, a lot of people write off the idea of telepathy pretty quickly, and granted the idea kind of seems insane lol. I’d just like to point out as well that I am a healthy and sane adult working towards my BS, lol, no I’m not a full blown hippie living in the woods (although sometimes I wish I was! :p). I’m actually not one to consider this kind of stuff without solid proof and logical explanations, but after previous experiences with LSD, I just cant ignore that I 100% experience telepathy on LSD.”

Note: I’ve never had LSD as far as I know but I don’t know what was in what I did have.

It’s great to have found the above, it’s just a shame that I don’t have a name for what I have experienced and others don’t so they are posting under the title of “LSD Telepathy”.

I do feel some relief that I am not completely alone in the world as it seems like at least a couple of people have had similar experiences, but they are few and far between. Of course someone could object that in the realm of LSD/MDMA experiences there’s such a range of different experiences that some would surely accord with mine but in this case it really does seem like the experiences are of the same general class of experience.

What it’s been like for me the past however-many-years is what I imagine it would be like for someone who was the only normal person in a world where everyone was autistic.  It sounds a bit brutal but I think it’s an apt analogy.

Still hoping to have an actual discussion with someone who has had such experiences and I will keep on exploring.